My wife thinks that I really like our latest cat. She points as evidence that I play with the cat and the cat loves to play with me. I have this laser pointed that keeps the cat going for a long time. For some reason, the cat never is able to snag the red laser light (it never gets old). The cat will even jump up on the wall in order to try and capture the light. Then there are a few moments when I will try to spin the cat (I don't think the cat likes it). Sometimes the cat will get the better of me and catch me with a well placed claw or two. Because of these two things, my wife really believes that I like having the cat around.
She couldn't be more wrong.
Actually, I'm just really trying to bug the cat so it will leave me alone. But I'm not sure that my strategy is working. Cats are annoying. When I come home, I don't need (I don't want) a cat purring like a motorboat and wrapping its tail around my ankles. It's unnerving. I just want to sit quietly in my chair and not have to be concerned that a certain feline is going to take a swipe at my feet because they've been bored all day.
Perhaps I should go back to the day when the official contract was made to allow this cat to co-exist with me in my dwelling. Here's what I heard: you won't need to do anything. You won't even know the cat is around. You won't need to take care of it.
I knew at the time that this was not going to happen. I've been around. I know the score. Even though we got one of those fancy self-cleaning litter trays, someone stills needs to change it and empty it. Yup, that's right - I do that.
Look, I'm willing to say that this cat is a good companion for my wife. The cat loves her. When my wife comes home, the cat cannot get enough of her. That's the kind of cat I don't mind having around! And I don't want you to misunderstand me - I'm not an animal hater. I just want to view them from a distance. Let them be another person's pet - I'm good with that.
I read once that cats have never been mentioned in the Bible and they've never forgotten that. Maybe that's true. By the way, my wife's cat does have a name - it's Ruby. She calls her Ruby Tuesday after our favorite restaurant. I just call her "the cat" - no need to get too attached.
It's bad enough I have to be reminded we have a cat whenever we go out to eat.