Bucket List

I really don't have a bucket list.  I've never really thought about sitting down and making up such a list.  The term bucket list is interesting because of the natural reference to dying or to "kick the bucket".  One might naturally want to have done some things or set some goals before that day happens.  The movie with the same name starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman popularized the phrase and gave it some context.  Older people have been jumping out of airplanes ever since the movie came out... almost always with parachutes on.

If I were going to make such a list, I'd have to think about what things I might want to put on that list.  Right off the bat, one thing I'd put on that list is to play a round of golf at Augusta National Golf Course in Georgia.  When I really think about that, I realize that hope is beyond any bucket list request because I think a bucket list is supposed to have things on the list that you can actually do in reality.  Playing a round of golf where The Masters is played would be beyond my dreams.  So it will have to remain a dream.  Just like the Vikings winning the Super Bowl.  It happens only in my dreams.  

I imagine that seeing some parts of the world (and our country included) could be on that list.  Traveling and sightseeing sounds a bit more attainable than standing on the course that Bobby Jones built.  Places like London, Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon, and a few other locations appeal to my sense of curiosity.  I've been to a number of locations across the world that have been a complete joy to visit (Israel; Rome; New York City; Niagara Falls; Orlando; Calumet, Minnesota).  Certainly this item on a bucket list could be realistically attained.

I don't have any desire to do anything wild and crazy (like jumping out of an airplane strapped to someone's midsection and wondering why in the world I would ever do such a thing).  But I would include on that list learning how to play a guitar or learning how to play the piano.  At least, those things sound prettier and make me feel a lot safer than hurtling toward earth at breakneck speed.

I wouldn't mind hitting a hole-in-one.  Sometime.  Anytime.  At any course.  Anywhere.  With any club.  I'm about ready to settle for a mini-putt hole-in-one and call it good.

I thought about putting losing weight on the bucket list, but quickly realized that is already on my current to-do-list.  It wouldn't make any sense to transfer it to a list that I'm hoping to see happen when it is already on a list that I hope to see happen.

I were to distill it down to one thing that must be on my bucket list that I'd like to see before this journey of life ends it would have to be this: I really want to be the kind of person that God wants me to be - every day in every way.  Perhaps that sounds self righteous in some ways.  It really isn't meant to sound that way.  I just want to be the best that God is calling me to be.  

Wait, that's on my current to-do-list as well.  Shoot.  I'll have to keep thinking on it.  I'll get back to you on that.  

So, what would you include on your bucket list?

Enough Is Enough

Enough is enough.  I've sat on the sidelines for the past few months not wanting to blog anything - mostly because I don't want any more divisiveness.  I experienced something like that in one of my previous posts before I took a self-imposed exile from blogging.  I had written something that I was passionate about and several persons took me to task for my perspective - so I removed the article.  I just figured that there is enough division in the world today that I don't need to add to it.  Enough is enough.

Now, that being said, I know that we cannot escape the lines that divide us.  In fact, I've always appreciated hearing another perspective on any topic upon which someone might disagree with me.  Goodness, I'm certainly not the final authority, nor do I think I have the market cornered on any particular topic.  The thing that troubles me is when labels are attached to that point of view when labels don't need to be attached.  If someone disagrees, then why not just leave it at that?  Why can't someone just disagree without pigeonholing them into some category?

Think about it - we have so many huge issues in this nation that everyone is wrestling with: random senseless violent acts against innocent people, political divisions, religious splits over difficult issues, disagreements over immigration policies - I could go on and on.  I'm not offering any solution or critique on any one of these items.  The issues are not my point.

Here's what I am thinking about: we are always going to have different viewpoints on these matters.  It's one of the things that makes us wonderfully human.  I believe we can learn from those different viewpoints - perhaps not always agree, maybe sometimes agree to disagree, and maybe even debate the position we hold dear.  There isn't anything wrong with those actions.  When the conversation goes beyond that into calling someone a name or attaching some kind of label, well, as I said, enough is enough.

You are free to disagree with me.  I'm okay with that.  Just leave it at that.  In the final analysis, I am responsible to measure my own understanding of what I believe to be true with God's way - with God's truth (I'm not imposing that on anyone either - it's how I look at my own life - I am responsible to balance God's view into my equation of life).  

Even if we hold issues in disagreement, God will weigh in on the topic.  God always has something important to say about any issues we might disagree upon.  And if we choose to disagree with God...

...well, I wonder if (and when) God might say to us "Enough is enough".

I Hear That...

There are things that you do that you just don't have to think about: breathe, look with your eyes, move your hands across a keyboard or number pad, listen with your ears, taste something good with your mouth.  Ordinarily, you just don't really think purposefully about doing these things - they come naturally, right?  So what happens when one of these things doesn't work properly?  What then?

I'm asking that question now because I have experienced some hearing loss.  I had an appointment with a specialist in Sioux Falls yesterday.  Before seeing him, I had a series of listening tests that I need to go through.  "Push the button when you hear a tone" the hearing specialist told me.  I could hear some tones and I would push the button.  Other times I sat there in that soundproof room, wondering why she wasn't sending any tones so I could push the button.  

What a dope I am, sometimes...

The hearing specialist told me that I am generally okay on the lower tones, but it really begins to be severe on the upper tones.  The doctor specialist told me the same thing.  Evidently, my problem is located in the cochlea - that portion of the inner ear that looks like a snail shell (cochlea is Greek for snail - who knew?).  The cochlea receives sound in the form of vibrations, which cause the stereocilia to move.  The stereocilia then convert these vibrations into nerve impulses which are taken up to the brain to be interpreted.  From what I could understand, this portion of the inner ear can begin to fail.  No corrective surgery will help - but hearing aids will.  

I wasn't ready to hear that.

I mean, c'mon!  I've just been through the wringer with three major surgeries in five months (which by the way, anyone of these could have been a catalyst in accelerating the hearing loss - isn't that fabulous!)  How many things can one person expect to have to deal with in one year?  

I look at that sentence and I realize how foolish I am if I really believe it.  Because I have been blessed - immeasurably blessed by God over the years.  I've walked with persons whose courage and faith makes mine seem so small.  I don't have a leg to stand on (well, that's actually not true, I have two bionic legs to stand on).  I mean that I have no business getting upset over things like this.  It's just a part of aging.  It's natural.  I'm not exempt from any of these things.  And I believe that God will always speak loudly enough for me to hear.  So, what's my problem?  Really nothing in the vast picture of life.  I'm good.  

I hear that...

Getting Back to the Ride

I haven't posted anything here since the early part of October of last year.  There are two really good reasons for this latest drought: 1) I've been dealing with recovery issues regarding the replacement of my left hip, and both left and right knees (three major surgeries in five months).  Now, I know I had time to sit down and blog a few ideas during that time, but then again, I just didn't feel like it.  I know.  Kinda strong, huh?

2) The second reason is more than likely the overriding factor in deciding not to journal anything during that time frame.  I had posted something that some persons thought was political in nature.  I might have been oversensitive to their response (goodness, I even deleted the post).  But it really bothered me that I wasn't supposed to have any opinion at all.  That's not what my faith tells me.  That isn't what I learn from scripture.  Followers of Jesus are called to be wise, discerning, not conforming to the world, but being transformed to the mind of Christ.  I was merely calling to light those things which were not any of these things.  So be it.  I guess it's time to put on my big boy pants.

I really wanted to share how difficult this process of healing from three major surgeries in five months has been.  I'm not certain if I actually gave enough time to heal adequately between each procedure (then again, the experts are telling me it takes about a year to fully heal from any one of these.)  I'm certain there was depression - I know this because I would sit at home and do nothing for long periods of time, knowing it wasn't helpful or even healthy.  One of signs of depression is the inability to complete a task.  For a while, that was me.

There was pain, but medication was there to help that along.  Yet even in this I was wary.  So much has been reported about opiates and the dangers surrounding them.  Two of the prescriptions were opiates.  I stopped taking them after a few weeks mostly because I was not about to become dependent upon them.

Therapy wasn't necessarily a highlight, but it did some good in the long run.  I would go to therapy feeling pretty good in my hip/left knee/or right knee, but would feel much more sore around those parts when I left.  Not sure that was the intended result.

I also had a very hard time sleeping.  I cannot remember the last good seven - eight hour sleep I had straight through.  Up every few hours, unable to sleep, wandering late at night, wondering late at night if I was ever going to be healthy again.  

And lastly, I missed connections.  Not able to be in the office and see people.  Not able to have my own nuclear family around me when I was recovering.  Nancy took a few days off to help me (which was very helpful).  When she needed to return to work, I'm sure she was glad to get away from her 64 year old patient who wasn't being very patient.  I did receive a lot of cards and well wishes - you have to know how much they were appreciated!  

So it was a rather tough ordeal.  I'm glad it's on the last track right now.  I'm glad I did it and it's over.  Like my daughter told me when we were in Israel on a colder than anticipated day "Suck it up, buttercup, you're from Minnesota!"  

I'm doing better.  I know I am.  Goodness, here I am blogging again.  

Thanks, Lord, for the healing you provide.

The Cat of the House

I entered the house the other day and sat down in the living room, which began a chain of events that continues to amaze me.  I am really at a loss to understand it or even rationalize it.  Here's what happens: I walk in the house.  Nancy comes up from downstairs, followed by the cat of the house.  We move to the living room, where I sit on the couch opposite of Nancy so I can visit with her and we both talk about our day.  Meanwhile, the cat of the house saunters over to my right and sits, waiting for the right moment when it can dive under the couch, and begin to sharpen her claws on the underside of the couch.  The only time this cat does this is when I come home and sit on that couch.  It never does it at any other time.  It annoys me to no end.  

And what's more, this cat knows it.  

There's a few things in life that I will never understand.  For example, I don't understand why no one holds politicians accountable to just answering the question in a simple manner.  Usually, answers are vague or redirected.  Why can't they just answer the question?  I will never understand what happened to Preparation A through G.  I wonder how will we ever know when we run out of invisible ink?  Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?  And I may never understand why this cat of the house has decided to torture me with her selectively annoying behavior.

I suppose (to be fair to the cat) it's because I haven't "embraced" this cat from day one.  That's probably why the cat has chosen me as the object of her cat hijinks.  I think this cat is being really unfair.  I am the one who does a lot of things for her.  Clean litter box?  Me.  Put fresh water in her dispenser?  Me again.  Make sure food is plenty?  Me, me, me.  This cat does not know how much I help her existence.  And this is how the cat responds to my actions toward her?  As I said - it's so unfair.

Maybe I should just show the cat some affection.  Maybe then the cat would stop annoying me.  

I don't understand why I don't do that. 

Exercising Our Right to Vote

I was talking with someone the other day about the upcoming election and he reminded me that I needed to apply for an absentee ballot.  My first thought was "No, I don't think I need to do that - election day is always the second Tuesday in November, isn't it?"  This fellow wouldn't be distracted for me - "No." he said, "it's the first Tuesday in November and remember, you are having your knee replacement on the first Monday, so you will need to get an absentee ballot in order to vote."

He was right.  Thus, for the first time in my life, I voted with an absentee ballot.  My vote has been cast!  My candidate choices are in the book of life.  I believe that this system of selecting our nation's leaders is such an important one for all Americans to participate in.  Designed as a Constitutional Right for all people to select their choices to best lead the nation and local government, some voices were silenced in our national history (women, people of color, etc.).  Today, all people are able to vote and should take that precious moment to exercise their right to be heard.

But how does the Christian select the right candidate?  That's a great question.  Next Monday, October 22 from 6:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m., a program presented by the Minnesota Family Council will try to provide some answers to that question.  It isn't a forum to select any specific candidate, but more of an opportunity for the Christian to shape their choices more easily with their beliefs.  The program is called "Citizenship Worthy of the Gospel" and will be held at Solid Rock church in Worthington, MN.  If you are interested in attending, you can go to this site and register (at no cost).   

I readily support programs like this (when they do not espouse a particular candidate) because they can help to clarify issues that aren't so easily clarified.  Just a reminder: I am not recommending any candidate, party or affiliation - this is only an invitation to hear someone talk about how you might shape your own selection process, without going into any specific details on the values or platforms of any one candidate or party.  

Voting carries that responsibility - to know who we are voting for and why.  

Don't be absent from the process - plan to exercise your right to vote on November 6th.

Walking without Pain

It's hard to imagine my last post was April 30th.  Five and a half months ago - what have I been up to?  Well, where do I begin?  I took on an interim pastor position to assist Adrian United Methodist Church with a change in their pastoral leadership.  I've been working with three congregations (First, Emmanuel, and Adrian UMC) to examine the possibility of forming one church with three sites - that's been busy.  I had my hip replaced in August (and in three weeks, the plan is to have my knee replaced on the same side).  

So, yeah, it's been a little busy.  I had a few moments this morning and decided it was a good time to rekindle the blogging effort again.  

After my hip replacement, I had five weeks of physical therapy.  At the start, the exercises weren't the easiest.  The therapist was really aware of my pain levels and made sure I didn't overextend myself.  I was really glad to have finally addressed the pain that was in my hip, due to "primary osteoarthritis of the left hip" - the medical diagnosis that just means my left hip was always in pain.  I couldn't even swing the golf club properly because I wasn't able to turn my left side.  I haven't played golf since the surgery and probably won't until next spring.  I wonder what that will feel like.

I thought about the therapy and realized that the primary purpose was not only to help me gain strength back in my hip area, but also to relearn how to walk without the gimping motion I had grown so accustomed to.  It was so pronounced that one of my grandsons was copying my gait.  I asked him what he was doing and he said he was walking like me - without the pain, of course.  I swear he said it with a twinkle in his eye.

I call tell you - it isn't the easiest thing to relearn how to do something that seemed so natural.  We learn to walk as infants - the moment we take that first step, we graduate to toddler status.  Over the years our walk is determined by many things... injuries, the aging process, pulled muscles, gravity, weight gain - those sorts of things.  I know my stride has changed over the years.  Now I have to learn how to walk again.  This time, I walk without the pain.

I can only imagine those who walk with a different kind of pain - the pain of broken relationships... the pain of lost faith... the pain of grief and loss... the pain of dashed hopes and dreams.  Is it a given that no matter what precautions we may take or how hard we work to remain healthy, something may come along to challenge us?  Maybe.  We live in a broken world, after all.  But learning how to walk in faith again is just as hard spiritually as it is physically - maybe even harder.  

But there is something about the journey that helps us to grow stronger.  Somehow, at some point, in some way, we relearn how to trust, we rekindle the depths of our faith, we renew our resolve to follow Christ.  True, we need to be in some kind of "therapy" for this to happen - whether it's community, worship, bible study, etc.  

We can learn how to walk upright in faith again.