Saturday, March 14, 2020

40 Days of Embracing Uncertainty - Day 15 (for Friday, March 13)


I recall a number of years ago, I discovered that I had a bad habit.  At the time I really didn't realize nor understand that it was a bad habit.  It took my wife's wisdom to point it out to me.  Some of you may have heard this story before... one day I was going about my regular routine getting ready for the day.  I was getting cleaned up, putting on my clothes, etc.  In the middle of that process, my wife asked me if I was going to wear the pair of socks again that I had worn the day before.  Up until that moment, that had been my normal method of operation.  I didn't really see anything wrong with it - it was my status quo.  I told her that I was and we talked it over, she pointing out good habits and cleanliness and sock odor and all things like that.  I told her that I hadn't really ever thought about it like that, but was fairly certain that my socks didn't have any odor.  She said to me "You have sock issues". 

I imagine she was right.  Actually, I was having issues with changing - not just my socks.  Issues with changing my routine.  Like most people, I admit that change is hard.  I don't really like changes.  And I'm a person who doesn't really like surprises.  I suppose that points toward wanting to retain some control over things in my life.  Perhaps that's true.  I imagine all of us would like to keep the status quo the same.

The theme from today's devotion from the booklet "Embracing the Uncertainchallenges us about our own status quo.  Specifically, the writer asks a question that was difficult to read: "What if we are reluctant to hear the challenging, compelling words of Jesus because of just how disruptive they might be to our own preferred ways of thinking and acting?"  I believe that is very true. 

But I am not going to impose that question upon you.  I will own my own feelings on this.  I believe there are certain things that Jesus has said that I would rather step around than face them fully.  For example, "love your enemies".  I hear those words and agree with them.  It's much harder to put them into practice for the simple reason that I will go out of my way to avoid those who are my enemies.  I step around Jesus' words thinking that if I avoid those who go against me or have targeted me (for some reason) then everything will be fine. 

As long as I am being transparent here, I do have to search my memory banks to determine who I perceive my enemies to be.  It is a very short list.  In fact, I'm not sure that there is anyone on that list right now... but in the past, certainly there have been a few persons whom I haven't seen eye to eye with and I would classify them as my enemy.  My point here is this: over the years, I've tried to follow Jesus' teachings and for the most part I feel like I've done an admirable job.  But like all imperfect humans, I've had my moments.

In fact, in truth, I know I still have my moments now and again.  I believe my resistance to change is definitely related to maintaining some kind of control in my life.  I admit that some of the decisions I have made were done to keep things in my life the same.  When that happens, I usually gum up the works.

During those "I'm only human" instances, I'm ever grateful that Jesus does envision this world as one that is filled with the possibilities of grace and forgiveness.  I need that grace and forgiveness during those self-defining moments when I go at it alone - all by myself.   

I just need to place the words of Jesus ahead of my own self-sustaining issues.  Yes, I have issues.  But I've learned throughout the years.  Change sometimes takes a while.  But I did change my socks this morning. 

I'm getting there.

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